Mark Twain 351 Mark Twain Quotes American Author born on November 30, 1835, died on April 21, 1910

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. view quote

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough. view quote

Buy land, they're not making it anymore. view quote

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so. view quote

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. view quote

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. view quote

Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. view quote

Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. view quote

If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. view quote

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven. view quote

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. view quote

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. view quote

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