781Funny Quotes

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. view quote

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. view quote

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. view quote

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. view quote

Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity. view quote

I love Charlie, Billy Burke's character. Writing for him is so spectacular, he's so funny and wry and every scene he's in he just takes. There's a scene in 'Eclipse' where Bella tells him she's a virgin, and it's the funniest, most awkward scene I've ever seen on film. view quote

Too much agreement kills a chat. view quote

I think I have an inner confidence that my tastes are pretty simple, that what I find funny finds a wide audience. I'm not particularly intellectual or clever or minority-focused in my creative instincts. And I'm certainly not aware of suppressing more sophisticated ambitions. view quote

When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. view quote

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it. view quote

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. view quote

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. view quote